3 months and counting....

In exactly three months, today will be my first day back to work. Now granted I will have had nearly 15 months off, but that's not going to make it any easier. It's frustrating to me that I can't seem to push this "countdown" out of my head. I certainly don't want to keep track of it and lose any of the daily joys, but it's there nonetheless. I know I've been so incredibly blessed to be home with Addison for this long. I really do know this. Even if I have to work for the rest of my life, I will never quit praising God for this time I've had with her. But I just don't know how to prepare myself to suddenly be away from her. Again, I'm fortunate because my day as a teacher is shorter than many. That doesn't mean my workload is less; just that I can pick Addison up earlier and then finish my work after she's in bed. I feel like I've found a terrific routine - I go to StrollerFit in the mornings, have my quiet time while Addison naps, and then can play with her in the afternoon and be ready for Jeff in the evening. I absolutely love my life right now. I've never felt this joyful or been so overwhelmed with gratitude. I feel like I see the world with new eyes each and every day. But I'm scared of my outlook souring when I return to work. Afraid of all I'll be missing out on with Addison. Afraid I'll quit making my quiet time a priority and almost certain I'll have nothing to give Jeff once Addison is in bed. I know it's easy to picture the worst-case scenario and I pray I'll be able to make it better than what I'm imagining. I never knew how much I would love being a mom. I thought I was going to have this baby and head back to work a short time later. That was the plan. But God, in His infinite wisdom, had something different in mind. The way things happened that allowed me this opportunity could never have been predicted. The events that transpired were clearly orchestrated by Him. I finally feel like I've discovered one of the most important reasons I was created. So I'm just going to keep praying that I continue to find myself exactly where He wants me to be. He hasn't led me astray me yet.